This story is brilliant, I really liked how the author set up the haze that Smaug brings with his presence, the people of Westeros being just as, if not more so susceptible to gold-sickness, and general greed and flaws. Viserys having to deal with the horror of Smaug's presence and becoming saner in his fear

Spoiler

and because of Smaugs fell influence

is fucking epic.

The AU differences are done well and the only thing that sucks is that it's abandoned.

4/5 because it's abandoned and also because it jumped the gun a bit with the timeskips +au stuff not being all that explored but seeing as it was prolly meant to be a short fic in total the former is a part of the story's tone.

 

At the beginning Viserys had the voice of a generic SI, and I wasn't particularly impressed. But then Smaug hit.

Smaug's dialogue wasn't exactly perfect either, to my mind, but it was much closer, and even that paled in comparison to the sheer presence that he exuded. It's clear from the inception of the story that this isn't some twee YA dragon friend, all soft and fuzzy around the edges. It isn't even one of the giant predatory lizards from ASOIAF or other 'realistic' fantasy settings.

No, this is clearly a fell wyrm, with all the low cunning and dark debasement that comes with one of Morgoth's brood. He is sinister, and cruel, and intelligent. The plot moves by his manipulations, and it's exquisite to behold. Reading this reminds me of the traditional portrayal of dragons as the servants of the devil.

My biggest criticism is that events happen offscreen, and the story just shows us characters reacting to it after the fact. It's a classic fanfic error, especially those of AH fare. This story isn't really an action one, so missing the action doesn't completely undermine it, but it still takes away some of the impact and make you react like you read a blurb of a cool idea rather than witnessed it happen.

Most notably

Spoiler

when Viserys loses his hand

I especially loved the moment at the end of the what's currently published. With some minor tweaking I'd even say it's an appropriate point to leave off a story like this, so I'm pretty satisfied by this even though it's abandoned.

The wordsmithing isn't particularly great, but neither is it bad. It's clear that the writing is just a vehicle for this story, rather than part of the product that the author was trying to create.

4/5

 

I had to dust off my ancient unused AH account to read this, but it was well worth it.

The writing wasn't bad, but not very noteworthy. There weren't any glaring technical errors that jumped out at me.

Smaug's depiction is definitely the best part of this fic. Seeing how his actions warp the events of canon into an entirely different mess was quite entertaining, although I feel like the author tended to gloss over too many important events. I think it would have benefited from a little more detail in describing some of the bigger changes and events that Viserys didn't have a front row seat to.

Even if it is abandoned, it does end at a very good stopping point, so I wouldn't really count that against it.

Easy 4/5.

 

I only read a few chapters and maybe need to read a bit more... but i didn't care for it. Which is a shame since LOTR and ASOIAF might be my two favorite book series. No. They are.

Its hard to put my finger on why it was annoying me. I think it maybe had an element of like... mmm.. how some of those 'rational' hp fics get. Where it felt a little like smaug was just so much smarter then everyone... because. And omniscient... because. And the author had a 'let me show you how everything goes wrong just to show how edgy i am' vibe.

Maybe im being too harsh. Like I said I only read a few chapters. But I found myself just eye rolling and not very engaged every-time smaug went 'evil genius destroying everyone lives around him.'

Such a fascinating fun premise I might try to push on and read more. Especially if halt thinks it gets better as he has impeccable taste. Ill hold on reviewing for now as i dont want to be too harsh after just a few chapters.

edit to add: no. finished reading and sadly the problems persisted. the unsullied plot line literally had my eyes rolling out of my head. I really wanted to like this but just cant. 2/5 and i think im being generous.

 

Just finished this. It’s short, sweet, and even with the abandonment, it’s still a decent read.

Smaug is spectacularly written and essentially makes the piece. But there really isn’t much beyond Smaug and Viserys to recommend it. As @soczab said, it’s kind of a “everything goes bad” sort of plot that is essentially just backdrop for Viserys, Smaug, and to a lesser degree, Danaerys. Honestly, though, that’s exactly what it needed to be.

As others have said, the writing is solidly average and perfectly serviceable, which for AH puts it in top tier, but it is what it is.

While this is definitely library worthy, based on the characters, it certainly isn’t the sort of above average work that deserves much above a 3.

3.5/5 trending down.

 

This was surprisingly enjoyable. It's almost more character piece than a proper story, with Smaug's shadow being cast across the rest of the cast. Viserys is delightfully terrified in a way that makes you sympathize for one of the worst people in canon.

A fairly solid 3/5 for sure.

 

I absolutely loved what was posted over on the AH forums, and I heavily recommended that any fans of ASOIAF read it, as the overall tone of the story is quite consistent with the grim nature of Martin's works, not to say that Smaug isn't well represented, though in a much more savage way then he was written in the Hobbit.
5/5

 

I enjoyed this fic. I liked a lot of things about it, from the prose to the tone....

But honestly I think a huge reason why I enjoy it is purely that its mediocre LOTR fanfic, and I'm a sucker for lotr. TBQH the plot is rambling, with lots of jumping about and general chaos. This makes for an intriguing pileup of awfulness, but it doesn't really make for a great story, and I think that's why it got abandoned. It was just sort of rambling around having fun without any real structure or thesis.

If I was a teenager again, I would give it a 5/5 but since I am old and withered I will only give 3/5