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Armor of the Gods by DGD - Original Fiction - T/M For later chapters.

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by DGD, Apr 9, 2007.

3/5, 2 votes
  1. DGD

    DGD Headmaster

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    Apr 9, 2007 #1
  2. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

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    Apr 9, 2007 #2
    Comma usage in the first sentence. Parenthetical phrases separated by comma's are ok -- encouraged even, however:

    This should read:

    The first version implies that he is watching his father while on his fathers horse. The second version I would put a "while" after the second comma. . . But that's just me.
     
  3. ihateuall

    ihateuall Looked into the void

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    Apr 10, 2007 #3
    For the first few paragraphs, show don't tell eh? ;)

    Reads like 'Of Ice and Fire' kinda like story. (its a medival story by george r.r, epic length. google it or somehting.) For some reason I was also reminded of World of Warcraft when I read it. Anyways keep it up.

    btw, I didn't know you could post original stories on DLP...
     
  4. huntedorange

    huntedorange Seventh Year

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    Apr 11, 2007 #4
    Pretty good must say i am intriqued to where you are going to go with this. About all i can say, it caught my attention and kept it, well done.
     
  5. LegalAlien

    LegalAlien Denarii Host

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    Apr 11, 2007 #5
    That was a really very good and interesting start. It definitely caught my attention and I'm looking forward to seeing where this leads.
     
  6. the-caitiff

    the-caitiff Death Eater

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    Apr 12, 2007 #6
    I'll keep track of it and give a proper review later once we've seen a bit more. So far, seems like a few other fantasy books I've read. We'll just have to wait and see.


    Just as a random point of interest, I seem to recall folks acting rather annoyed last time someone linked original fiction in the "for review" section. Wouldn't this be more appropriate in the Other Books and T.V, Shows forum, since it is technically an "other book"?
     
  7. DGD

    DGD Headmaster

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    Apr 12, 2007 #7
    Catiff, the Other Books and T.V, Shows forum is aimed more at published works.

    This is essentialy a piece of fanfiction (I'm not planning on taking it further then just here), that would go in the general section of the library if it is indeed moved there.

    Thanks for the reviews all.
     
  8. dark phonix89

    dark phonix89 Backtraced

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    Mar 1, 2008 #8
    Yea this is good however i get the lord of the rings feeling from it only this one is lord of the armor it can easily be fucked up so be careful with this one.

    Y do you even breathe anymore
     
  9. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    Mar 23, 2008 #9
    I finally got around to reading this one. I'm withholding judgment until further chapters are written. So far, it is interesting and I'm trying not to even THINK of any similarities in writing style or story comment as of yet.