Title: Fall Asleep
Author: Sythe
Rating: M
Summery: Post OoTP, began with Harry's inner battle after the loss of Sirius. Typical Slytherinish Harry and independent Harry, no one's bashing, though Harry will hold a small grudge towards Dumbledore. Strong Swear words warning.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2239502/1/

-Author note:It’s my first try with a Harry Potter fanfic, nut I won’t even try to ask you guys to be gentle. Actually, I want the contrast. Yeah, that’s it.. look at my fic. Stare at it.. locate any minor mistake you can cause I’m a follower of the people-learn-from-mistake religion. Another thing, I worshipped logic, I don’t care what to do, just logic first. And lots of guys out there just don’t care as long as they can twist the character and make them satisfy their lust for the so-called super power. I totally hated it (I’m not even going to hide that fact. It’s my personal opinion, so blast you, you can’t say anything about this). If they want their character to do something, or become something (god, super hero, powerful manical wizard, all that stuff), at least do it logically. Also, I AM A SLYTHERIN BY HEART, and so will my Harry (did I just say that.. ohh.. blasted.. just.. forget the disclaimer above temporarily ,okay?), and I love him being sly, cunning, and smart.. so that is that.. if you have any problem with that.. you can go now, just push the back button and you are out ,k . I like flames, but I don’t like the illogically irrational childish ones, so don’t even try that. On to the fic, please.

 

Chapter Two: Tidal Wave

Author Note: Last time I told you I worship logic. I know that some of you may have noticed that it wouldn’t be as logic as I said about Harry’s fast Occlumency learning. You don’t have to worry. I know and planned it from the start. Unlike many other fanfic where Harry learns Occlumency in mere weeks, or 2 months just with the reason that Snape wasn’t the teacher. I know perfectly well that Occlumency isn’t that easy to learn. If it was, then Occlumency masters wouldn’t be that hard to find (according to book 5, Dumbledore knows only two people being able to teach Harry Occlumency, Snape and himself. Not to mention that Dumbledore was the one who taught Snape Occlumency). About Harry learning Occlumency so fast, I will give you the reason at the end of this chapter (don’t skip, this chapter provides needed information, or else you’ll be confused) It’s supposed to be a surprise for Harry himself, so you, the readers, will just have to wait (Although you get to know it sooner than him) *cackling devilishly*

Chapter two: Ocean Tidal
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2239502/2/


A/N: As I have promised in the beginning of this chapter, the reason of Harry’s fast Occlumency learning. Well,.. actually.. he didn’t learn Occlumency at all. He thought that he learned it. I have read many fics in which Harry also learned Occlumency, and really fast at that. To say it bluntly, it doesn’t ad up at all. Occlemncy is a kind of mind magic, thus very hard to describe, not to mention that the books he bought could very well be … not so … eloquent. I admit that many people can study on their own with their books only (shooed shooed … go away teachers) when they really want to, but we are talking about VERY hard mind magic here (see A/N in the beginning) so the chance of Harry learning THAT fast (only two or three months the average in other fics, there are some that even said that Harry is a natural Occlumens. I don’t know if that is an actual possibility or not, but…. see a bit in Book 5, Harry never did consideringly enough in Snape’s Occlumency lessons.) is almost none.*sigh* I intended to write more (about 6000-7000 words but… this chapter is a pain to write. I’ve got the plot straight out but my pen ..er.. fingers just went stray on the typing board. I hope I’ll be able to do more in the next chap (Actually, I cut this chapter short)

See ye’

 

Not bad really... I like it... would love to see where this goes! great job in my opinion. Not going to pick it apart letter by letter though since i myself am guilty of bad grammer/spelling as well...

 

I'd also like to see where this is going...
Please write more soon!

 

very good
i like it
keep writing

 

I can't review of FFN

I am reading your story at FANFICTION.NET.

I tried to review it but you have it set so it doesn't allow ANONYMOUS REVIEWS.

I would appreciate it if you changed it so I, and many others can review your story.

UPDATE ASAP!

PS: Great work so far. Is this going to be a Harry/Hermione?

 

Sorry

Oh. Sorry about that. And I had been wondering all the time how come I didn't get any anonymous review. I fixed it immediately after reading your message. Chapter three is half-way done. I hope darklord forum doesn't take this fic into the recycle bin since it's 2 months and a half already. The whole story is finished in the line. It's not like I plan on abandoning this fic. I'm just the slow typer kind.
Is this a Herm/Harry? Well, I can't tell you that now can't I. It will diffinitely ruin the mood.

 

good story so far.. interested in seeing where this takes you

 

A very nice beginning so far!
I'm curious about where you'll take the story (and in particular Harry and Hermione of course).

Please update soon!

 

Can you post it some where so it is easier to read green and white kill my eyes

 

Alright, so this story is two chapters long and abandoned.

The first part of the story is summing up Harry's currently crappy situation at the Dursleys.

The grammar isn't perfect, but I've seen worse. We soon learn this is post OOTP with Sirius dead. The first chapter ends with Harry seeing Sirius as a lost father figure, and vowing to train to become better.

The second chapter was interesting, Harry turns sixteen at midnight.

The POV then switches over to Hermione. We see some things from Hermione's POV and that's how it ends.

I'd give it a 2.5 if it weren't from the grammar usually. However, this story is unfinished massively, very short, and not Library worthy at the very least. I'll give it a 2/5 though I would of liked to see improved grammar and more to the story.

 

Sweet Jesus, this one needs to go straight to the trash bin.

The first chapter is merely bad at every level - cliches galore, poor characterization, and terrible grammar. Harry just sits in his bedroom and bemoans the loss of Sirius. The second chapter, though, is flat-out terrible. It literally makes no sense, and the author has only a passing acquaintance with the English language.

tl;dr: It's 8k words of abandoned drivel from 2005. Ripe for deletion. 1/5

 

All of those good reviews really makes you think, doesn't it?

Tsk tsk.