1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice

Legend of Harmony by Sirius Aldebaran PG-13

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Aldeb'Aran, Apr 8, 2006.

Not open for further replies.
0/5, 0 votes
  1. Aldeb'Aran

    Aldeb'Aran Guest

    Apr 8, 2006 #1
    Title : La légende de l'Harmonie

    Author: myself, Sirius Aldebaran in fanfiction.net

    Rating: PG-13

    Genre: Alternative Universe of HBP

    Pairing: None

    Status: work in progress (slightly irregular I must say...)

    Summary: So, Harry spend a better summer but the death of sirius fill him with sorrow. A strange dream in his 16th birthday make in him some changes.
    Some ancient knowledges are unleashed and Oldy Voldy seems to deal with darker energies than the darker magic. He attack Privet Drive with dementors, and strike Harry rigth in his mind...

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2706230/1/

    I hope you understand my summary and you speak french... It's a fic I began to write some time ago, and I plan to add an other chapter during Easter: in 2 or 3 weeks time...
    More things will come in the next chapter . So what do you think about it?
    I know I made some clichés but any reviews and any advice(s ?) are welcome.
     
  2. Akalon

    Akalon Second Year

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2005
    Messages:
    52
    Location:
    Columbus, Ohio USA on weekends, weekdays The Void.
    Apr 9, 2006 #2
    No offence but if this summary is what your writing is like then you'll need to go back and clean it up a bit.
     
  3. Aldeb'Aran

    Aldeb'Aran Guest

    Apr 9, 2006 #3
    No problem, thank you
    My writing in the story is nothing like the summary but I am not very good at this kind of exercice, even in french so...
    I promise I 'll make a new one... but not before next saturday...
     
  4. Akalon

    Akalon Second Year

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2005
    Messages:
    52
    Location:
    Columbus, Ohio USA on weekends, weekdays The Void.
    Apr 9, 2006 #4
    Do you have a beta?

    If you don't or don't know what a beta is for, then a beta is best at catching any spelling mistakes and places where the story can flow better if you were to use or add a word or two. Basically from what I understand a beta is to help the author with the flow and pace of the story and to point out where there are problems and help to fix said problems.

    Alot of times an author whose native language isn't english more often then not writes a better fic when they have a beta that speaks and understands english fluently.

    If you knew all this then sorry for the worthless post.
     
  5. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2005
    Messages:
    9,498
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    West Bank
    Apr 9, 2006 #5
    I know this isn't in Humor/Parody, but am I the sole one who thought that was a brilliant parody title?


    "So Harry picked up this strange book, his (nerdy)girlfriend looking over his shoulder, and rewrote the strange text in a more accurate sense; one with him and Hermione in Harmony"

    Okay, no more, please :p .

    -Xiph(out)
     
  6. Scrittore

    Scrittore Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2009
    Messages:
    362
    Aug 3, 2009 #6
    I don't speak French and I don't see a English Translation, could be wrong.
     
  7. darklordmike

    darklordmike Headmaster

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,128
    Location:
    USA
    Aug 21, 2009 #7
    You're right; this fic is written in French, and always has been. The OP, who is also the author, implies as much.

    Ripe for deletion.
     
  8. Tinn Tam

    Tinn Tam Review Goddess Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2006
    Messages:
    1,023
    Location:
    Paris, France.
    Aug 21, 2009 #8
    Disclaimer:

    Translation of the disclaimer:

    Then the story starts with the usual angsty scene of Harry crying over Sirius's death. The most interesting aspect of that scene is the fact that the writing is peppered with the most unexpected spelling mistakes, while the utter lack of correct punctuation gives it a hiccupy kind of charm.

    Even in French, this fails to pass the test. Locked.
     
Not open for further replies.