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Abandoned Sage of the leaf by HistorianoftheKais - R - Naruto

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Manatheron, Dec 7, 2008.

2.4285700321198/5, 7 votes
  1. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

    Messages:
    1,166
    Dec 7, 2008 #1
    Title: Sage of the leaf
    Author: HistorianoftheKais
    Rating: R for Violence
    Pairings: None
    Chapters: 9
    Words: 44,752
    Updated: May 17, 2009
    Published: Oct 3, 2008
    Status: Abandoned
    Link: Here
    Summary:It is said that a butterfly flapping its wings in America will cause a hurricane in China. Watch what happens to Naruto as a small change in Jiraiya's wanderings causing huge changes in Naruto's life.

    Comments:
    The author has some moderate mis-spellings and word tenses wrong, but the story on the whole is quite good. Were the mistakes corrected I'd say it's a solid 4, but as things stand 3.4ish/5

    Checked by Minion, February 11, 2015
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2015
  2. Ksai

    Ksai Third Year

    Messages:
    108
    Dec 7, 2008 #2
    Ok.

    Maybe it's just me, but I cant imagine Naruto reading scrolls and trying to find Jutsu in them. The only instance of such occasion in canon was when Naruto had no other choice and learning a jutsu from a scroll was his only option to pass Genin exam.

    And the idea of Kakashi being remooved from team 7 was really strange. Very OC Hiruzen here. Didn't see any point of this act actually.

    So far your usual power up Naruto story.
     
  3. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Dark Lord

    Messages:
    1,874
    Location:
    TN
    Dec 7, 2008 #3
    Ksai has failed to point out the boringness of this venture. The fight scenes air stale, the characters are stale... the entire work is stale. I highly despise any mention of "fighting styles," especially if one of them is named, "fox style." Combined with the lackluster writing, the minimal mistakes stand out even more. If written by a more competent author, I could see this story actually being good. As is, however:

    2/5.
     
  4. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

    Messages:
    1,166
    Dec 10, 2008 #4
    which is pretty much the point I was trying to make. It has potential and some interesting concepts, but the guy needs a Really good Beta to make the story really worth reading.
     
  5. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

    Messages:
    1,958
    Dec 11, 2008 #5
    I can't believe you read it – the summary is so vile for me, I don't even want to get any closer.
     
  6. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

    Messages:
    832
    Location:
    Iceland
    Dec 14, 2008 #6
    This guy is a pretty decent plotter, and he utilises the Butterfly Effect, unlike almost every AU writer in the Naruto fandom. His OCs, on the other hand, need some work. The summary sucks, nothing more needs to be said regarding that. He hasn't done anything truly unforgivable yet however, and the story has definite potential.

    3.5/5
     
  7. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Messages:
    1,356
    Location:
    West Coast
    Feb 20, 2009 #7
    3/5

    Despite the 'blah' dialogue, I'm enjoying reading this story. Like most of Historianofthekais works, he creates some of the better AU plots. Unfortunately, his grammar isn't the best and he writes incredibly weak dialogue.

    Still, I'm really liking the approach of the Temari/Naruto interaction in the story and I'm hoping Sasuke gets resolved quickly in the next chapter.