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WIP The General's Child by Watchinkid - T - Youjo Senki / Tanya the Evil

Discussion in 'Other Fandoms Review Board' started by Halt, Nov 30, 2020.

3.4000000953674/5, 5 votes
  1. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

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    Nov 30, 2020 #1
    Title: The General's Child
    Author: Watchinkid
    Rating: T
    Genre: Family
    Status: Work-In-Progress
    Library Category: Other Fandom - Anime
    Pairings: None
    Summary: The world has come crashing down. Yet Erich von Lergen finds himself in the most peculiar place, back in time. There are so many things to do. So many things to remember. Perhaps things wouldn't be so bad if one of the key people tied to all that's happened in his memories is put through different circumstances?

    TL;DR Timetravel!Lergen adopts Tanya.
    Link: SB

    It's essentially a peggy sue fic. You don't really need to know a whole lot about canon as for the most part, the charm is from the characters interacting with each other. The dynamic reminds me a lot of spy x family, where neither party is what they seem and present a facade to the other based on what they think the other thinks they are.

    In Tanya's case, she's an adult in a young girl's body, while Erich is a time traveller who's already lived through a timeline where Tanya became the elite child soldier we know her as.

    Writing is very decent, no big complaints there, and the dialogue reads quite smoothly.

    Solid 4/5.
     
  2. soczab

    soczab Professor

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    Nov 30, 2020 #2
    Hmm. Very interesting read, thanks for sharing it! I agree with you what is written so far is definitely 4/5. Smooth, engaging, etc.

    The only potential problem I see is im not sure where it goes from here. How does this story work if Tanya doesnt join the military? And how does it progress uniquely if she does? Or maybe we're near the ending?

    I think youve seen some of this problem in the last couple of chapters (which were a bit weaker) where Tanya was essentially sidelined and it turned into a military recap at places. And with the cliff hanger at the end of the last chapter...

    I dont know. Im not sure how the author is going to walk the line between not turning this into just a slightly different retread of the original while still keeping it engaging and interesting. The whole *point* of the time travel is to keep Tanya from becoming a military all-star. So you cant just make her one. But then hows the story go if you dont? Whether they can pull that off is what will make or break this story.
     
    Nicovi
  3. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Dec 8, 2021 #3
    So this fandom is apparently Youjo Senki (AKA The Saga of Tanya the Evil) if anyone else was wondering. I looked it up and honestly the source material seems pretty cool, so I'm tempted to try and find that to read.

    But has anyone read it already and wants to give this a go?
     
  4. Thaumologist

    Thaumologist DA Member ~ Prestige ~

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    Dec 8, 2021 #4
    I remember reading this when it was first recced, but didn't review as there wasn't much of it at the time. Now, we're 13 months later, and there's not been any updates. I think it's safe to say it's abandoned.

    This continues the vein I've seen on SV/SB for Tanya stories where everyone misunderstands each other. I've watched Series 1, not yet seen S2, and never read the source material, so I don't know how close to canon that cleaves, but it seems prominent enough to probably be fanon, at least.

    The writing is... Passable, I suppose. Still re-reading chapter three, I've noticed several missing apostrophes, a few minor typos, and some places I'd have put commas (although I know I overpunctuate).

    I'm now up to C4, and I don't know why I stuck with this. It's about a child being adopted, but she's super smart, vaguely manipulative, but doesn't get what she wants. The 'salaryman' part isn't there, which is fair enough I suppose, that might be strange to write about. Also, Viktoriya getting re-introduced as a child is a stretch. Then with Tanya being brought away from the military?

    It could have been interesting, but it's stopped. 3/5