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Veneficus Dementia by The Fine Balance - T - OneShot

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by The Fine Balance, Feb 9, 2007.

3.125/5, 8 votes
  1. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    Feb 9, 2007 #1
  2. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Feb 9, 2007 #2
    You still fail. ;)
     
  3. Dark Lord Rostam

    Dark Lord Rostam Button La Famiglia Midknight

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    Feb 9, 2007 #3
    Like I stated in the story thread, no. Annoying, bad, just annoying. No.

    2/5.
     
  4. Rob

    Rob Looked into the void

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    Feb 9, 2007 #4
    Pretentious, with unconsidered connotations and out-of-character for Hermione, even with magical dementia. Mildly interesting, but poorly framed and nothing to write home. Will face flak for taking a similar name of a more popular and better-written fic.

    1.5/5, for mild interest, but in the end, not worth the read.
     
  5. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    Feb 9, 2007 #5
    :(

    Well, practice perfects.
    At least, improves.

    I was so elated when I finished it.
     
  6. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Feb 9, 2007 #6
    I'd have given an actual rating, but you used Veneficus in the title, which makes me feel as though you've stolen from me. But my rating would probably coincide with those already given.
     
  7. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    Feb 9, 2007 #7
    If you search for "Magic" on a English-->Latin dic, that's what you get.
     
  8. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Feb 9, 2007 #8
    Orly? Magicus, Magica, Magicum, Magus, Maga, Magum, Magia, Magiae all different latin words which refer to magic which you could have used. You'll forgive me for being annoyed.

    Not to mention that there are several different variations of Veneficus which could have been used.
     
  9. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    Feb 9, 2007 #9
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Feb 9, 2007 #10
    The thing about online translaters is, they suck major ass. I know more then my fair share of latin, and believe me when I tell you how horrid they are.
     
  11. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    Feb 9, 2007 #11
    Ah well, how does it matter anyways. A title has to be followed up by the content. And while, now, I don't like it as much as I did a few hours earlier, I still don't think it's as bad as it's been panned out.

    Back to the rewrite! Cause I love the idea.
     
  12. Jadedmagus

    Jadedmagus Squib

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    Feb 9, 2007 #12
    I give it a 4.5 for two reasons. First it is a one shot, and I generally don't hold those to a high standard because it is quick. Second and far more importantly it made me think. The fact that I actually sat there and thought if that could really be the case sets this ficlet apart from most others. I also thought you captured Hermione's madness rather well.
     
  13. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

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    Feb 10, 2007 #13
    It's okay, but not great. I won't say I didn't get anything out of it, but I will say that I didn't get anything valuable out of it. It gives you a moments pause--while you're trying to decipher the criptic brain talk--but then when you realise the basis of the plot it just trikles directly over you.
     
  14. ZanyMuggle

    ZanyMuggle Third Year

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    Feb 10, 2007 #14
    I enjoyed it. I believe it's closer to being in character for Hermione than any HP/HG story I've ever read (except one).

    If you do a rewrite (which I'd like to read), I'd recommend changing the name of the dementia, to disassociate it from Surarrin's work (and also out of respect for Surarrin). I don't think that particular Latin word is necessary for the good idea contained in the story.

    4/5
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2007