Too be fair the english is readable and Harry is -sort of- still the main character.

2/5 because 1/5 is reserved for My Immortal.

 

I read the story, took me about two hours to finish it. I am not the best English student, so instead of writing it in paragraph form, I will list the appealing and unappealing qualities of the story(in my opinion). Contains spoilers.

Appealing:
1.Yuki(Harry) being Independent and strong. He also seems mature, a bit too mature(but this could be a good thing).
2.It's original... to an extent. I never read the whole, “Magic is dieing and sending us message, so we have to go against our elders and save magic itself” plot.
3.The story wasn't “well written” but it was readable(unlike most of the crap found in FFN).
4.No slash(Just thought I'd add that, what? I am getting sick off all the Harry/Draco and Harry/Snape crap circulating the Mature, and now the Teen section).
5.Mainland Europe as the center stage of the war. This was really appealing to me, finally a Voldemort that wasn't dumb! He actually started influencing the Eastern European countries, since he was hiding in Albania.
6.The romance was kept to a minimum, but I don't think Iris is a Mary Su, but she could be IF she is somehow related to the Emperor.
7.I liked Yuki's views on how magic worked and how muggleborns came to be.


Unappealing:
1.All Japanese crap(sorry but it's not needed, I can't figure out why the author doesn't realize that, maybe he or she is Japanese?)
2.Harry's name being changed.
3.The fact that the Saint-Clair's and Potter's have other children(I don't know why but I always hated this idea. I mean having one other is okay, but having like 3 is very OOC.)
4.Neville being a baron(hell no, what kind of name is Longbottom?)

That's as much as I am going to write because I am pretty sure you guys won't like me ranting. Please disregard(if you can) any spelling or grammar errors(English is my third language).

Overall, I would rate this story 3/5, if the author removes all the Japanese crap... 5/5(I'm serious)

 

Ladies and gentlemen of DLP, i do declare that we have been trolled.

 

Just because I wrote a long review giving my opinion, doesn't make me a troll. I read the story and I found some parts of it enjoyable, you shouldn't hate me for that.

Anyway, I know you're trying to make this turn into some kind of flame war or something, but it's not gonna work. I know I am the new guy, but really? bashing me for a review? Just because you have 160 post doesn't really give you the right to bash me.

By the way, English isn't my first language, but I still know your supposed to capitalize the "I":

 

Calm down, dude, I have no interest in a flame war. Really, even if 160 was a lot of posts (and it's not) I know it doesn't mean jack shit. I am also perfectly aware that "I" is generally capitalized, however I often neglect to do so while posting on the internet simply because it does not affect the readability of my sentences and most people don't care. In any case, I was referring to the OP who thought that a story where Harry is renamed Yuki St. Claire could even stand a chance of getting into the library.

BTW, your English (what little I have seen of it) is actually quite good. What are the other two languages you speak?

 

Sorry, for the misunderstanding. I really shouldn't have reacted that way. I speak French and 2 South Asian languages(no point mentioning the names). I know English; but it is not as good as some people here.

azrael... Angel of Death, right?

 

In the immortal words of JustBlaise: "Cool your clit." Being a douche will get you hammered whether you have 1 or 1,000 posts, so calm down. The point you missed was that the vast majority of DLP is not going to bother with a story mixing HP with all that Japanese crap, no matter how... readable if might be aside from that. It's just a deal-breaker, end of story.

By the way, "Eye" also know "your and "you're" are not one and the same. YOUR sentence needed an apostrophe.

 

He missed no point at all, he just thought azrael was talking about him instead of about the original poster.

To darklordavion: bienvenue à DLP. Félicitations pour ton premier conflit sur le forum, bizarrement commencé mais très joliment terminé. Belle performance.

Now back on topic. If someone is still willing to read and give a rating... I'd like to know myself how Harry-Yuki can have one eye from his "natural mother" (Lily, I assume) but still get the Japanese features of his father's wife.

Anyone?

 

merci, mais je ne l'exécute pas... I'm gonna talk in english 11 years of living in USA, made me forget how to read and write francais, lol. I really don't want to relearn francais because the colleges here charge too much money, and I have the credit anyway.

I'm not sure if I'm right, but his Japanese "mother" performed a ritual in order to make Harry the heir of Saint Clair, maybe it was a side effect.

 

Probably some magical adoption ritual cliche.

Never mind. Got ninja'd.

Also, if you forgot the language, then you don't get to claim to speak it.

 

This is Yuki Saint-Clair as the author pictures him :



Yeah.

 

Yeah, some stories are obscure for a reason. Even FFnet can see the scalding shit coating this one.

 

Ugh. French on DLP makes my head hurt. As for your question, what the others said. Adoption rituals that turn Harry into some sort of god aren't new; it's pretty high on my list of fail fanon concepts.

I guess French must be your fourth language, because that didn't mean anything. And even if you're of Cambodian origin (or some other Indochinese country), you've lived 11 years in the US so English is probably the language you're most literate in. Hence it's really not worth mentioning you speak other languages, particularly if you don't.

@JWH: Yeah, I saw that. Obviously she's a bit of an idiot though, because the hair, the eyes and the height (plus just about anything else) don't correspond to her description.

 

Actually I am half Indian and half French(don't ask how it happened ). I can speak french but the grammar comes out horrible. Anyway back to the topic, Harry or rather Yuki having Hispanic traits and Japanese traits was weird. But I still can't understand why all the Saint-Claires have a Japanese name(except for the father). It seems Harry's adopted mother has her husband under her thumb... A true Frenchmen would never let that happen!