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Oneshot Teeth by ManicR - PG13 - ONESHOT

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Amerision, Nov 29, 2006.

3.9333300590515/5, 30 votes
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  1. FairyQilan

    FairyQilan First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    22
    Location:
    Florida
    Dec 1, 2006 #21
    Glad to see this story on the site. 5/5
     
  2. Nexus

    Nexus Denarii Host

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2006
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    465
    Location:
    Strolling along River Styx
    Dec 1, 2006 #22
    Magnificent.
    I haven't been this creeped out since I saw "The Omen" when I was a kid.
     
  3. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

    Joined:
    May 19, 2005
    Messages:
    1,777
    Location:
    Inside YOUR closet. Go check.
    Dec 1, 2006 #23
    FUCK BURGER!

    That's Creepy SHIT!!!

    5/5
     
  4. razz

    razz Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2006
    Messages:
    224
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Dec 2, 2006 #24
    This is really cool. I'd love to say excellent, but I wont, because the spelling/grammar did quite shit me. Still, it is very much recommended.

    4/5
     
  5. apocalypsemeow

    apocalypsemeow Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2006
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    465
    Location:
    'round.
    Dec 2, 2006 #25
    This was interesting...quite a view into the vaguely (or very) demented kid that Harry Potter was. Cool Cool. 4.5/5
     
  6. Rainstorm

    Rainstorm Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
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    117
    Location:
    England
    Dec 2, 2006 #26
    Very interesting one-shot, very effective although that's probably due to the complete opposites of nice polite Harry and the teeth wanting to rip and eat her and the scene manage to overshadow the spelling and grammar mistakes for me.

    5/5
     
  7. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    Male
    Dec 3, 2006 #27
    Very nice. I thought this little story was pretty cool. Only a few faults like spelling/grammar, mainly at the start, and the flow seems to get distorted in some places. Everything else kicked ass, though.

    4/5
     
  8. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Australia
    Dec 3, 2006 #28
    Neato-Supremo

    5/5
     
  9. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    Dec 3, 2006 #29
    The author has a few other decent oneshots as well. He is also a slash author, but most of the recent stuff has been no-pairing.
     
  10. The Terror

    The Terror Squib

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2006
    Messages:
    11
    Location:
    God's Country, USA
    Dec 3, 2006 #30
    That was delightfully evil. Kid's got some talent, doesn't he? That reminded me in a lot of ways of Poppy Brite's Drawing Blood -- the imagery is very close.

    Shame that's a oneshot. It deserves more.
     
  11. fantasyfreak

    fantasyfreak Fifth Year

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    142
    Dec 3, 2006 #31
    very creepy nice one-shot work on spelling/grammar 4/10
     
  12. ManicR

    ManicR Squib

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    6
    Dec 4, 2006 #32
    Um, I don't know if this is allowed but I'm the author; Hi! :) I just joined.

    Thank you all for liking my story, despite the grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm not a native English speaker but I try my best.

    I've been considering making a series out of it but I'm not certain, your comments are noted and pondered upon. ;)

    Thank you again, and I apologize if this isn't allowed.
     
  13. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
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    2,541
    Location:
    The Gardens in the Desert Sand
    Dec 4, 2006 #33
    I love it when Authors stumble on the threads of their own stories.

    It happened to me, and I love seeing it happened to other people.

    There's nothing wrong with that - we're always welcoming new members, especially those who are authors

    Here's some rep, just because you have a kick-ass story.
     
  14. SushiZ

    SushiZ Auror

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2006
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    624
    Location:
    Island of Time
    Dec 4, 2006 #34
    Glad to see you on the site man. This story is damn good, keep up the great work.
     
  15. jaspernoone

    jaspernoone First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2006
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    44
    Location:
    Guanaba
    Dec 5, 2006 #35
    I liked it alot actualy, kinda weird, scary and morbid but he mixed the innocence of harry so well, definetly 5/5
     
  16. Sanctimonius

    Sanctimonius Guest

    Dec 5, 2006 #36
    I'm with everyone else here. Very morbid, a little creepy, and an ending that freaked me out just a little. 5/5
     
  17. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    West Bank
    Jan 11, 2007 #37
    I was told to look this up a minute or two ago in the IRC.

    That piqued my curiousity, so I looked the fic up on FF.net and read it.

    ...

    I'm not quiet sure where this fits into "Horror". I imagine it might fit well into a "Disney" category if FF.Nazi ever made one, but it definitely doesn't fit into the Horror Genre.

    Generally when I think of Horror I think of a chill running down my spine at something particularly cruel - like when that chick cut off her boyfriends dick and got acquitted. That, my friends, is horror.
    This is the closest to a genuinely creepy passage I can find in the entire, short, story and it really isn't that creepy.

    The ending is just sort of... bleh. Trying to inject humor into horror is admirable, but this was just a bad attempt:

    If it wasn't trying for humor and going more for a "Lol wtf" factor, it failed at that to.

    2/5 Max, Mickey Mouse would have to pay me some serious cash to rate this shitfest any higher.
     
  18. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

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    Purdue University, Indiana
    Jan 11, 2007 #38
    3/5, just not a spectacular fic at all. I'm a little confused by the unanimously high ratings that it's gotten...apart from the last two lines of the fic (which made it seem like a humor fic, slightly), the rest was at best slightly dark in tone and atmosphere.

    Just not stunning enough to warrant more than a 3 in my book :/
     
  19. Rob

    Rob Looked into the void

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2005
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    Location:
    Regina, Saskatchewan
    Jan 11, 2007 #39
    I'm rather tempted to agree with Xiph0 and Yarrgh. I don't see this as a good horror fic. If we're rating it on that, I'd have to give it a 1, because I don't think it fulfills its genre requirement. In general, it's well written and an interesting peek at Harry's childhood - which is an underdeveloped niche, yes - but despite the fact that I'd give it a 4 for the thing in general, because it doesn't fulfill requirements, I'd have to give it a mean score of 2.5.
     
  20. DarthBill

    DarthBill The Chosen One DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Texas
    Jan 11, 2007 #40
    I'm going to have to disagree.

    To me, it seemed like the teacher was getting a glance into the mind of a child who shares his mind with the most evil person to live. It had the feel of sinking deeper and deeper into a nightmare, only to wake up at the end and forget it.

    I liked it.
     
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